Confidential Mac at the Stage Door

6 Feb

She found Janine with a fair young man at the stage door being harangued by the Manic doorman. He was telling them to wait outside “we can’t have any Tom Dick or Harry cluttering up the stage door. Supposing we had a fire? We’d be in a right mess with crowds of people getting in the way of the exit.”
With a sigh of resignation, Marianne addressed him.
“Mac dear, This is Janine Mulhare – the young lady who’s going to be in the show in a couple of weeks.”
“Well, she’s not in it yet. Coming to my stage door. Barging in as
cheeky as you please. Needs a bloody good hiding if you ask me. And as for that beatnik, he shouldn’t be allowed to mix with normal people.”
‘It’s all right, Mac, they are waiting for me.”
“Humph. You need your head a examining” he muttered as he went to answer the telephone.
“This is my brother Jack,” said Janine.
Jack held out his hand and Marianne shook hands with this blond young man.

What does he mean, Beatnik?” he asked.
` “Its the length of your hair. He likes everyone to have a short back and sides, like him”
“You mean with the long bit over the top?”
“Possibly. Anyway, he hates people with long hair.”
“But the entire cast of the play have long hair” put in Janine
“Quite” nodded Marianne ” He hates them too. He hates everyone. Listen to him”
Mac was shouting into the telephone
“Mr Fox isn’t here, and anyway he’d be too busy to talk to you. Get off my phone.” and he banged down the receiver.

“They think I’m a messenger boy.”
“But all you’ve got to do is press Jeremy’s switch and transfer the call.” said Marianne.
“Don’t you interfere with me, young lady. I know how to work my own telephone. You don’t have to teach me my business.”
Marianne shrugged sweetly and went to the door and opened it.
“Don’t you bang that bloody door, like you usually do.” shouted Mac
” have a feeling it might just slip from my nerveless fingers,” said Jack

ac picked up the heavy paperweight he always kept on his desk. It was engraved
To Mac, thanks for your help and encouragement. Lord Longford.”

He showed it proudly to everyone.
“You see what people think of me.” he’d say.
He also had a silver watch that was inscribed “from Reg Varney,” and the cast waited for the day when Reg Varney or Lord Longford would turn up in person and Mac could be confronted by them. However, he did not intend to show the paperweight to Jack. He seemed more likely to pitch it at hm.

“Don’t you speak to me like that. I’ve known better people than you in my life.”
‘I don’t doubt that for a minute,’ replied Jack even more sweetly – and added ‘I hear you were in the Coldstream too.”
Mac was taken aback, and a look of respect came into the piggy little eyes.
He almost saluted as the three left the building. Closing the door very carefully behind them..

What an extraordinary character.”
“He’s just mad,” explains \Marianne, “he has no right to be in a job like this. He managed to insult most of the press on the first night”
“Hence the rotten notices.” cried Janine.
“Perhaps – Were you really in the Coldstream Guards?”
“Of course not. He wasn’t either; otherwise he would have known I wasn’t.
I think he’s fun. I might cultivate his acquaintance. What did he do before he came here?”
“He managed to destroy a pub in the Greys Inn Road.”
“How did he do that?”
“He banned all the customers. He could never bear to be interrupted in his stories, and if someone dared to – well, to ask for a pint of bitter while he was in full flood, he would ban them.”
Janine laughed
“Can a landlord do that?”
“Apparently so. Soon there were no customers at all, and the pub had to go out of business – for a while. Mmm He’ll sing for you if you let him”
“Heaven forbid!”
“And he writes poetry which he also insists in reading out as soon as two or three are gathered together. For goodness sake, don’t cultivate him. It’s much safer to have him hate you really.”

Mac was taken aback, and a look of respect came into the piggy little eyes.
He almost saluted as the three left the building. Closing the door very caefully

What an extraordinary character.”
“He’s just mad,” explains \Marianne, “he has no right to be in a job like this. He managed to insult most of the press on the first night”
“Hence the rotten notices.”
“Perhaps – Were you really in the Coldstream Guards?”
“Of course not. He wasn’t either; otherwise he would have known I wasn’t”
“I think he’s fun. I might cultivate his acquaintance. What did he do before he came here?”
“He managed to destroy a pub in the Greys Inn Road.”
“How did he do that?”
“He banned all the customers. He could never bear to be interrupted in his stories, and if someone dared to – well, to ask for a pint of bitter while he was in full flood, he would ban them.”
Janine laughed
“Can a landlord do that?”
“Apparently so. Soon there were no customers at all, and the pub had to go out of business – for a while. Mmm He’ll sign for you if you let him”
“Heaven forbid!”
“And he writes poetry which he also insists in reading out as soon as two or three are gathered together. For goodness sake, don’t cultivate him. It’s much safer to have him hate you really.”

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