Act of God

30 November 2019  · Shared with Public

Act of God at the Vaults ****+My friend John Heawood used to say. “I know nothing about God except that She’s black” At the Vaults she isn’t black but is quite definitely female. A woman of wit. A kind of Heavenly Dorothy Parker. Fed up of the ten commandments has decided to make new ones more appropriate to today’s politics. The result is ninety minutes of hilarity. Zoe Lyons in white silken pyjamas is God, flanked by her two senior angels Michael played by Matt Telford, blonde and very sensitive and the rather more authoritative, and practically naked, figure of Gabriel personalised by Tom Bowen. Gabriel’s task is to read out God’s reconstructed commandments and put remarks snd his reactions (usually fuck off) on the two massive blackboards that flank the luxuriously draped sofa bed on the stage. Michael wanders through the audience asking questions for consultation with Madam. God, in this production speaks mainly in witty one liners ‘The people who call out My name on Sunday morning aren’t as fun as the ones who call it out on Saturday night’ and ‘For whatever reason I just don’t seem to like Arsenal ‘Some of them perfectly topical ‘In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the World would be two different people’ She whips through the Old Testament, discussing Ada and Eve, the Lesbian occupants of The Garden, Noah and his flood, Benjamin and his much loved son. She comments on them all, including her middle son, Jesus, who had his own way of doing things, things she could never understand, but that’s kids. But as she knows because she is all knowing and all creating and bored to death with the world, there seems to be nothing anyone can do about it, except maybe write satirical comedies..The cunning words come grippingly to her tongue as she csually turns water into wine and creates other miracles. These important ingredients of this production are handled by magic consultant Scott Penrose The author is David Javerbaum of The Late Show and directed by “the naughty boy of musical theatre” Benji Sperring – so much his kind of thing. If you are in blasphemic mood, or even if you just want a giggle over life as it is, you should hare along to the Vaults. It’s a cracking show and a wonderful antidote to Christmas. My favourite remark. “Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops” Congratulations! British Women you can now move diagonally. Aline for Aw theatricals